It is not unusual to end up in a long-distance relationship. Going to different schools or having jobs in different parts of the country are typical reasons. The primary advantages of long-distance relationships include: positive labeling (“even though we are separated, we care about each other enough to maintain our relationship”), keeping the relationship “high” because constant togetherness does not dull it, having time to devote to school or a career, and having a lot of one’s own personal time and space.
The primary disadvantages of long-distance relationships include being frustrated over not being able to be with the partner, loneliness, missing out on other activities and relationships, missing physical intimacy and spending a lot of money on phone calls/ travel.
To keep your long distance relationship together, do the following:
- Maintain daily contact via texting.
- Enjoy or use the time when apart. While separated, it is important to remain busy with study, friends, work, sports, and personal projects. Doing so will make the time pass faster.
- Avoid conflictual phone conversations. Talking on the phone should involve the typical sharing of events. When the need to discuss a difficult topic arises (e.g. trust), the phone is not the best place for such a discussion. Rather, it may be wiser to wait and have the discussion face-to-face. If you decide to settle a disagreement over the phone, stick to it until you have a solution acceptable to both of you.
- Stay monogamous. Agreeing not to be open to other relationships is crucial to maintaining a long-distance relationship. Individuals who say, “Let’s date others to see if we are really meant to be together,” often discover that they are capable of being attracted to and becoming involved with numerous “others.” Such other involvements usually predict the end of an LDR.
